Sauce:
3 rounded tablespoons hoisin sauce
3 tablespoons dark soy, eyeball it
3 tablespoons water, eyeball it
2 teaspoons hot sauce, eyeball it
Everything Lo Mein:
1 pound spaghetti
Salt
1/4 cup vegetable oil, divided
2 large eggs, beaten
3 chicken breast cutlets, thinly sliced into strips
3 thin cut pork chops, thinly sliced into strips
Black pepper
2 teaspoons ground coriander
2 inches fresh ginger, chopped or grated
4 cloves garlic, finely chopped
6 scallions, cut into 3-inch lengths then sliced lengthwise
1/2 pound shiitake mushrooms, chopped
1 red bell pepper, cut into quarters, seeded, then sliced
1 small can sliced water chestnuts
2 cups fresh bean sprouts, 4 generous handfuls or 1/2 pound shredded cabbage, your choice

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